I Really Don't Understand...
“God, I honestly don’t understand…”
I could feel the carpet grind into my knees as I slumped against a couch. I probably would’ve looked nearly lifeless to anyone watching. But I was alone in my attic.
“I don’t get it - if you’re real…. What about the good people who believe differently? What about…. All of it…. I just don’t understand…”
I pressed my forehead into my hands and pulled at my hair without realizing it. My palms felt damp and cool against my face.
“But the truth is… I believe You,” I sat up abruptly, “I don’t understand, but I believe you, Jesus, and if all of this is true…. I want it.”
And in that moment, alone in my attic as a 17-year-old boy, my life changed forever.
I experienced real freedom and forgiveness in Jesus.
But I still didn’t have all of the answers to my questions.
So I started searching - I read the Bible. I prayed. I asked questions. I read books. If YouTube had been around, I would’ve watched videos.
(Which I’ll talk more about in a minute…)
Honestly, it wasn’t easy - it took a lot of time and I had a hard time finding answers that I could understand, presented in a language that made sense to me.
C.S. Lewis’ masterpiece, “Mere Christianity,” was absolutely brilliant, but I found it to be so densely intellectual that it seemed to take forever to read and really comprehend a single paragraph.
When I finally built up the nerve to ask questions, most of the people I approached were either very new Christians like me, or deeply educated scholars who I had real difficulty understanding.
(I was also incredibly immature and arrogant at the time - with a serious stubborn streak that probably kept me from learning from the people who might’ve been able to guide me.)
The truth is that there are MANY great Christian teachers out there and I’m often in awe of their understanding and communication skills,
In fact, over the last twenty years, I’ve gotten a chance to learn from some of the very best, including real heroes of mine like Francis Frangipane, Keith Cook, and Luis Palau.
There are also a lot of incredible Christian resources out there, presenting real wisdom in understandable language.
I just couldn’t seem to find any at the time.
And honestly, I’m grateful for that…
Because it forced me to SEARCH for the truth.
In Matthew 7:8, Jesus says, “For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Desperation forced me to SEEK, and just like Jesus promised, when I sought, and kept seeking, I FOUND.
Over the last seven years, White Ribbon Day has traveled to 37 countries, performed for hundreds of thousands of people, and done our best to share the love and message of Jesus clearly and simply around the world. We’ve seen tens of thousands respond to Jesus and we’ve done our best to connect them with good churches in their local communities.
But recently, we’ve been thinking a lot about the people who say yes to Jesus, but still have a lot of deep and challenging questions about what it means to follow Jesus…
Just like me, as a teenager in my attic.
And so after a lot of prayer and discussion, we’ve decided to do an experiment…
We’ve decided to start a bi-weekly podcast where we wrestle with the questions, struggles, and challenges of what it means to follow Jesus - to live a full adventurous life as a Christ-follower - in a language and style that is understandable and honest.
Our goal is to build a community - a safe place to ask questions, wrestle with life-issues, and be challenged and inspired to live the audacious life Jesus has called us to live.
As one of our faithful “God-Stories” readers, we’d like to invite you to be a part of this community - we’ll continue to send out bi-weekly stories of what God is doing around the world, but we’d love to have you as part of our online community, because a lot of our focus and energy will be going into making it something truly valuable and we don’t want you to miss it!
Thanks for your time and God bless you, friends!
If you're interested in partnering with us to share the love and message of Jesus around the world in 2020 with a tax-deductible monthly donation or one-time gift, simply click the link below for more information. We're deeply thankful for you, friends!